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Charlie’s,Raven,(Excerpt,IV)《查理的渡鸦》(节选四)

琼·克雷格黑德·乔治 吴文安/译析

A knock sounded at his door.

门口传来敲门声。

“Its me, Singing Bird. Lets go fishing.”

“是我,歌唱鸟。我们去钓鱼吧。”

Charlie opened the door a crack and peered out. There stood his very best friend, Singing Bird. The two of them had met in second grade when her parents bought land and built a ranch house across the irrigation ditch from Granddad. Her parents had seen the Grand Teton Mountains when they were first married and pledged that somehow, some way, they must live near those majestic snowcapped peaks. Although the Teton Sioux Nation had never lived in the valley below these mountains, Singing Birds parents felt a kinship with them. The Indian name Teton came from Tutonwan, one of the Teton Sioux tribes that lived along a river. It meant “people in community.”

查理把門打开一条缝,向外张望。外面站着他最好的朋友歌唱鸟。他们俩初次见面是在二年级。那时候歌唱鸟的父母购买土地建起了牧场大屋,与查理爷爷家隔着灌溉渠相望。歌唱鸟的父母刚刚结婚时,曾经看到过大提顿山脉,发誓要想方设法到这些雄伟的雪峰旁边居住。虽然提顿苏人从没有在这些高山下的山谷里居住过,但歌唱鸟的父母觉得跟这些高山血脉相亲。印第安人名字提顿来自图顿湾,那是一个提顿苏人部落,曾经沿河而居。这个词语的意思是“聚族而居的人们”。

School separated Singing Bird and Charlie when Charlies family moved to Jackson and Singing Birds parents returned to the Standing Rock Reservation in South Dakota for the school year. But each spring Singing Bird and her family came back to Sagebrush Flats when school was out.

因为上学,歌唱鸟和查理彼此分开了。那时查理一家搬到了杰克逊镇,而歌唱鸟的父母回到了南达科他州的立岩保护区,以方便孩子上学。但每个春天放假之时,歌唱鸟和她的家人都会回到山艾公寓。

“Hey,” Charlie said, his eyes almost closed by his big smile. “When did you get back?”

“嗨。”查理说。他笑得合不拢嘴,眼睛眯成一条缝,“你什么时候回来的?”

“Yesterday,” said Singing Bird. “The balsamroot is blooming. We always come back when it blooms.”

“昨天,”歌唱鸟说,“香根开花了。香根开花的季节我们都会回来。”

Charlie was more than happy to see her. Not only was she a good fisherman and nifty storyteller, but she was also an observant naturalist. He needed her on his study.

看到歌唱鸟,查理高兴极了。她不仅仅是一个钓鱼好手,特别擅长讲故事,还是一个善于观察的博物学家。查理的研究需要她帮忙。

“The caddis flies are hatching,” she said. “The cutthroat trout will be biting in Cache Creek. Come on out.”

“石蛾开始孵卵了。”歌唱鸟说,“卡什溪的克拉氏鲑鱼即将咬钩子。我们赶紧去。”

Singing Bird wore her long hair in two braids with beautiful black and brown feathers of the prairie chicken tied near their ends. Her bronze cheeks glowed, and her large eyes were as dark as Gentian Canyon in a storm. Slender eye brows arched over them, emphasizing her pretty face. Silver squash blossom earrings dangled from her lobes. This morning Singing Bird wore her fishing outfit, a pair of faded and frayed blue jeans and a T-shirt that said:
STANDING ROCK MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRLS AND BOYS BASEBALL TEAM. Charlie stepped out the door and quickly closed it behind him.

歌唱鸟长长的头发扎成两条辫子,辫子末梢装饰着漂亮的棕色和黑色相间的草原松鸡羽毛。她棕色的双颊泛着红光,一双大眼睛就像暴风雨中的龙胆峡谷一样黝黑深邃。眼睛上面的眉毛细细弯弯,愈发凸显出她漂亮的脸庞。耳垂上挂着银色的西葫芦花样式耳环。今天早上,歌唱鸟穿的是钓鱼套装,下身一条褪色打磨的蓝色牛仔裤,上身是T恤衫,T恤衫上写着:立岩中学男女棒球队。查理迈步出门,又快速地随手带上门。

“Where is your fishing rod?” Singing Bird asked. Charlie usually appeared at his door with his rod and creel when she called. Now he looked sneaky, as if he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Whats the matter?” she asked.

“你的鱼竿呢?”歌唱鸟问。通常,歌唱鸟一喊,查理出门时都会带着鱼竿和鱼篓。而现在查理看上去鬼鬼祟祟的,好像偷饼干时被抓现行一样。“怎么了?”歌唱鸟问道。

“I cant come with you,” he said. “Im doing a scientific study.”

“我不能跟你去。”查理说,“我在进行一项科学研究呢。”

Singing Bird smiled. “You are? Whats it about?”

歌唱鸟微微一笑。“是吗?什么研究?”

“Ravens. I am studying ravens for Granddad.”

“渡鴉研究。我在为爷爷研究渡鸦。”

“Ravens.” Her eyes brightened. “Can I help? I love ravens. Theyre magical.”

“渡鸦。”歌唱鸟的双眼闪闪发光,“我能帮忙吗?我喜欢渡鸦。渡鸦很神奇的。”

Charlie frowned. She sounded like Mr. Spinder—magical, supernatural, all that unscientific stuff—then he remembered that it was she who had inspired him to get a raven because it could cure, and he opened the cabin door to her.

查理皱了皱眉。歌唱鸟怎么听起来像斯宾得先生——什么神奇、超自然等不科学的话——然后查理想起来,正是歌唱鸟启发他抓了一只渡鸦呢,因为渡鸦能治病。于是查理打开了木屋门。

Blue Sky was sitting contentedly in his basket. He wagged his tail and backed up toward Singing Bird.

蓝天正舒舒服服地坐在自己的篮子里。看见歌唱鸟,蓝天摇摇尾巴,倒退着靠近她。

“He likes you,” Charlie said. “His tail is wagging.”

“鸟儿喜欢你呢,”查理说,“他在摇尾巴。”

“That means he wants to give me his little diaper bag so Ill carry it far from the nest. Baby birds do this to keep their nests clean of whitewash so predators wont find them.”

“摇尾巴的意思是把他的小粪便包给我,让我从窝里拿走。小鸟这么做,是为了保持鸟窝干净,没有粪便,这样猎食者就找不到他们。”

【背景知识】这一选段的翻译难度较大。里面有专有地名、文化知识、生态知识、生态术语等,需要译者详细查证之后提供准确的译文。另外,这一段有精彩的人物外貌和行为描写,文学性较强。一些英文句子句式繁复,需要用恰当的方法来翻译。

【第一段】第三小节中有几个印第安文化的地名,需要仔细查证,确保准确。另外,几个长句句式复杂,不宜完全调整语序变换为符合中文习惯的句子,那样,一来译文会有翻译腔,二来会打乱原文的信息结构,使得译文语义不连贯,影响阅读效果。译文采取了顺句驱动方法,通过断句切分、适当添加连接成分等技巧,在保持原文信息结构的同时,尽力让译文文通字顺,没有阅读障碍。最后一句的代词it被明晰化为名词短语,目的是让译文清楚易懂,同时也是基于英汉语言之间的代词使用频率之差异。

【第二段】第一句原文简洁,比如school只是一个词,而译文转换为一个短语“因为上学”,这样意思才清楚。最后一句句末的时间状语也在译文中转换到句首,如此译文更加简洁。

【第三段】第一句的人物行为描写极为生动(“Hey,” Charlie said, his eyes almost closed by his big smile.),但不能按照字面意义翻译,比如“查理的眼睛因为大大的微笑几乎闭上了”。译文按照中文文学作品中常见的描述转换为“查理笑得合不拢嘴,眼睛眯成一条缝”。原文Charlie was more than happy to see her也不能直译,需要把原文的意义具体化为“看到歌唱鸟,查理高兴极了”。

【第四段】这一段是人物外貌描写,原文很精彩。译文应该参照中文文学作品的写作方式,用文学化的语言再现。其中第二句和第三句尤其要用心翻译。第二句中的glow以及第三句中的arch不能按照字面意义翻译或者简单地照搬词典意义。译文把glow扩展为“(双颊)泛着红光”,而原文的动词arch被转化为修饰短语“细细弯弯”。

【第五段】第二句的时间状语被提前为“歌唱鸟一喊”,是为了译文更生动。第三句原文的比喻很有意思,译文也稍作变通,翻译为“偷饼干时被抓现行一样”而不是“手在饼干罐里”。因为中英文的习惯用语不同,译文选用了更明白易懂的中文表达。

【第六段】原文句子Her eyes brightened被扩展为“歌唱鸟的双眼闪闪发光”,补足了原文的意义。

【第七段】第二句原文很长,是有关查理的意识流描写。译文添加了语气词,使中文表达更像是心理活动。最后一节中的代词that被明晰化为“摇尾巴”,这样中文更清楚明白。

【小结】在该选段的译文中,译者尝试保留原文一些长句的信息结构,让上下文之间语义更加连贯。此外,针对原文文学性很强的描写性文字,译者也用相应的文学性语言予以对应,保证中文译文的文学性。译文中还有几处语序调整,以及根据中英文表达习惯不同而做的表达方式改变。

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